Thursday, October 7, 2010

Can we be friends?

Dear Talbots,

I do believe I owe you an apology. Although what I am about to say will be difficult for me to admit, I like to consider myself a woman of integrity and honesty.

I treated you badly for many years. I branded you as a seller of mom jeans, bad tweeds and frumpy office  wear. I may, or may not have called you "Tal-butt-ugly's" and used you, along with the likes of Coldwater Creek and Dress Barn whenever I needed to reference someplace at which I would never be caught dead shopping. But (and this may just be a irrevocable proclamation of my descent into middle-age, but I hope not), I take it all back.  You seem to have changed.

You see, I happened to be innocently perusing the web today when I came across your banner ad featuring this leopard jacket and, OH MY GOD IF I DO NOT OWN THIS JACKET SOON I AM GOING TO DIE. You know? But it seems that sizes are limited online and I don't really have $299 to spend on things other than nitrate-free hotdogs and ridiculous amounts of orange juice. So, anyways, Talbots, if you've got some of these beauties in a size 4 or 6 lying around somewhere that need a little good publicity- just send one my way and we can put our past behind us. Kay?

Oh, and Talbots, nice work on these and these:

And I'd also like to commend you on all of these (very MJ):

Talbots, keep up the good work and when someone, someday, decides to pay me the big bucks for talking about myself and shopping online all day, I'll be back to see what you've got.

I hope you can forgive me.

Warm Regards,

TO THE READERS OF HMD: for those of you who liked the old Talbots-  firstly, I apologize and not to worry, they've still got the signature fit.

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