And the Oscar for the least exciting Oscars goes to...

I know I'm a day late, but honestly, when the Oscars were over last night, I just wanted to go to bed because it was so painfully boring and I couldn't take the toothpicks I had wedged in my eyelids anymore. I mean, talk about a snooze-fest. Let's be honest here, the only real look worth talking about was Mila Kunis in her exquisite lavender Elie Saab masterpiece:

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Freakin' Mila Kunis. She probably took one look at herself in this get-up and was like, "What in the hell was I doing with Macaulay Culkin for like 10 years?" Seriously, though, this dress is my fantasy and she looks like a million bucks in it.

I was amazed to see that the hubs hung in there with me for the entire telecast, but I have a theory that it had something to do with the fact that he spotted this thing early on in the evening and was anxiously awaiting more:

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I don't know who this Jennifer Lawrence character is, but I'm pretty sure I know what she's thinking in this shot and it probably goes a little something like, "Tah-Dow bitches! Your husband is totally going to be thinking about me next time you guys do it."  Ease-up on the sexy next time Jennifer. We get that you're hot, but this is the flippin' Academy Awards, not The Girl's Next Door. Whatever- I guess she looked stunning.

Natalie Portman looked cute and she was all pregnant and glowy, and the color of her Rodarte gown was to-die, but I don't know- she just kinda bugs.

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This was a major step-up from that thing she wore with the flower to the Golden Globes. And, speaking of upgrades, I do have to say that my girl Sandy really stepped-up her game from the GG's as well:

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Elegant, timeless- and apparently, someone finally handed her the memo that said foreheads are in.

Gwyneth looked amazing and the neckline on her Calvin Klein dress was insane, but really, enough with the singing already.  It was almost painful to watch her looking so constipated up there.  Gwynnie- you know I love/hate you, but it's time to go back to pretending your British, or Jewish, or friends with Mario Batali, or something. 

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But these were just my winners- the offenders were countless, but I'll share with you just this one:

 

I love this couple and I get that she's all high on estrogen and stuff, but this dress was just tacky to me. Penelope must have called L'Wren Scott and been all, "What do you have that will make my boobs and vagina look like they've just burst into flames?" And then the Miss America Pageant called and was all, "We want our dress back."

As usual, I could go on, but I just caught a glimpse of my favorite pepto-pink sweatpants, which I've thoughtfully paired with a large, brown, grandpa cardigan for my evening at home and decided that maybe it's time for me to shut-up and go to bed.

xxxx's
j

Something New. Part 1

So, as you might remember, my super cute sister-in-law, Molly, got engaged over the holidays and she's asked me to put some of my internet-ing skills to work and find some fun wedding goodies to share with her (and, of course, all of you). I have to admit, I had been slacking on my duties, but my attendance at the lavish winter wedding of a friend this past weekend, and the super exciting launch of the folks over at Anthropolgie's new bridal site, BHLDN, have motivated me to get started!

For those of you jaded old married broads about to stop reading- sit tight because BHLDN has a little something for everyone. In true Anthropologie fashion, it has an eclectic and gorgeous collection of accessories, lingerie and party dresses for the bridesmaid who truly can "wear it again, " like this sweet little bue chiffon number (also available in pink):

Savoy Dress

or this ethereal maxi-dress: 

Sandspun Maxi Dress

The selection of wedding dresses range from retro to modern and are really pretty reasonably priced. Because I still totally dig my husbie after 15 years of being all up in each other's business, we've always talked about renewing our vows, and hope to be able to do it one day when we've got some extra cash laying around that can be spent on totally unnecessary ceremonies that may or may not take place in Las Vegas. So, naturally, I've had an image of exactly the kind of dress I would wear for some time now, and it pretty much looks exactly like this:

Fondant Tea Dress

As for the gowns, I have to admit, I don't think I saw any dresses here that scream "Molly," but this tiered sequined number is worth looking at anyways, because it's awesome:

Burnished Organza Gown

And did I mention there are shoes? Totally Amazing Shoes? Well, there are: 

Shoes are good.

Happy Friday Everyone!

Put me in, Coach(ella).

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I think the Coachella festival has become almost as synonymous for its fashionable attendees as it has for its amazing music. Tia, because she has connections and because her life is totally carefree and awesome (and does not involve cleaning diarrhea off of potty seats- as mine did this evening), will be in attendance this year, and even though it's still almost two months away, we have been heavily consulting the Internets as to what appropriate and affordable Coachella wear will both, a.) be practical and comfortable during long days spent in the desert heat, and b.) make her look totally, effortlessly boho and a little bit hipster and quite possibly land her as a google image search result for "Coachella Fashion" next year at this time.

Above are two of my favorite looks from last year. Based on these and the additional fruits of my google image prowess, I was able to concoct the following recipe for Coachella fashion success: fun sundress with a little "edge", strappy leather flats, cross body-bag, some funky accessories and the perfect hat to, literally, top-it all off.  So, Tia, here goes nothing. Get out your debit card:

1. Dolce Vita Beaded Sandal, $58
2. Vero Moda Cut-out Dress, $44.83
3. Linea Pelle Sliced Leather Bracelets, $40
4. Marc by Marc Jacobs Leather and Chain Belt, $180
5. Gucci Striped Cat-eye Sunglasses, $220
6. Madewell Fedora, (out of stock- similar here)
7. TopShop Woven Leather Cross Body Bag, $60

1. O'Neill Straw Hat, $28
2. Need Supply Pink Yoke Dress, $125

3. Beaded Bracelet, $28
4. Set of Mixed Bangles, $24
5. Forever21 Faux Suede fringe Sandals, $16 (!!)
6. Butter London Yummy Mummy Nail lacquer, $14
7. Leather Sachel, $218

We've Still Got It.

left to right- HMOM Gina, Me, Sharon of Folk Industry, the infamous Linds of LSP, Meags, Alli, & Kerry

 Well folks, after some much-needed inspiration and encouragement from a group of talented and extremely haute mamas, I'm ready to get back in the blogging saddle again. Thanks to my favorite ladies and for newlyweds Joli and Adam for an incredible weekend at a truly decadent affair.

Yep, that's me in the Milly Toffee Ripple Delight number-another RTR success. If only I had remembered to put some sun block on during our sunny lunch earlier in the day- I wouldn't be looking quite so much like John Candy in Summer Rental- may he rest in peace.

Stay Tuned for some serious blogging ladies. I'm back.

Hubs was looking handsome too, as usual.

Excuse my silence, Mamas. I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed this week. And lazy. So, I'm taking a self-appointed blogging break. Plus, the rain is making it really difficult for me not to be in my bed this very minute next to the hubs who I presently hear snoring from across the house.

As a parting thought, I'll leave you with the above print from the Etsy shop Eva Juliet. It's kind of my mantra right now. Well, that, and "You don't need another cookie."

Don't forget about me. I'll be back very soon. Promise.

xoxo
j

Sweatpants.

For a myriad of little reasons, I've had a lingering case of the sads this week. Not to worry my lovelies- it's nothing that a pair of sweatpants, some time with this book, and a bottle of wine won't cure tonight! Here's to getting happy- and to great sweatpants! Enjoy!

Michael & Michael Have Issues
Break-Up Sweatpants
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Tosh.0 Funny Jokes The Comedy Awards

ikan't have this ikat, and it makes me sad.

I love a good ikat print as much as the next girl these days, but honestly, it's getting to be a little bit much and I decided, for about 5 minutes, that maybe I was over it. That is, of course, until I met the Dynamic Ikat Bedding from Anthropologie. It's got this cool, almost psychedelic, vibe. "Psychedelic" isn't usually my bag either, but something about this just works for me. The rich colors and the warped print remind me a little bit of Missoni, which always makes me feel poor and happy, simultaneously- kind of like this amazing Missoni Maxi dress, that someone much richer than me will probably be wearing while lounging on their yacht in the French Riviera soon:

Missoni Mare Sorrento Crochet knit maxi dress $950

Creature Comforts

 Ever since Max locked googley eyes at the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk with who we now affectionately refer to as "Ray Ray" (seen above in Max-requested glamour shots with "Baby Ray" in pouch, because clearly Ray Ray is a very special marsupial-stingray hybrid)- he was hooked. It was stingrays ALL the way.  Snakes are a thing of the past, and I do say I prefer this obsession, as there are very limited chances that a real stingray will ever be coming home with us, and then getting lost and ending up in my toilet bowl waiting to bite my butt when I get up to go to the bathroom. Or hiding under my house and growing to be, like, 30 feet, or something disgusting like that. You get the picture.

So, guess who is getting MOM of the YEAR award when she unveils this magnificent piece of apparel on Valentine's Day?

Lands' End boys Manta Ray graphic shirt, $16.50

There will be instant and repeated wear, gauranteed. Despite my re-evaluation of their semi-recently launched Canvas line, I hadn't scoped out any of their sites in some time, but always find myself thinking that their boys' stuff is kinda cute as I briskly walk through that department of JCPenny, only because it has the emptiest lot in the mall to park in. So, in a desperate attempt to replace the four raggedy t-shirts Max wears constantly, I gave it a try- and was definitely not disappointed by some of the selection of kids' stuff. I think I'll be swooping up a few more of their tees for the boys, like maybe this cool Octopus one:

Lands' End boys Octopus Graphic T-shirt, $16.50

and this cute little nautical number: 

Lands' End boys Shipyard Graphic tee, $16.50

And, lest we forget:  imaginary daughter. She would definitely be wearing this:

Lands' End girls long sleeve striped sailor dress

Happy 1st Birthday HMD!

Would you say that a blog birthday is a sufficient occasion for cake consumption?  I'll just assume that you're  all shaking your heads "yes" and start dreaming about this piece of pink-frosting-y goodness from SusieCakes being shoved into my pie-hole (or, in this instance, cake-hole) and then washing it down with a few heaping glasses of white wine. Yes, those two things go really well together, so please don't try to tell me otherwise. 

Speaking of cakes, how cute are these polka-dot candles from Bake it Pretty? They have all sorts of fun baking accouterments and lots of good cupcakes pictures (aka: pastry porn), if you're into that sort of thing. 

Polka Dot Party Candles, $5.25 for a box of 10

Thanks to everyone for your support and encouragement- here's to another year of more haute stuff!

xoxo 

j

Glossy.

Sorry for the absence, but this week, unlike the oreo-filled chocolate chip cookies, was yucky.  In fact, if this week were cookies, it would probably be these.

The only good that came out of this week, in fact, was the launch of the AMAZING new e-zine, High Gloss- the brainchild of some very talented and stylish bloggers.

It's really good. Ruully good. So good, in fact, that I've been sitting here staring at it for over an hour now, absorbing the glamourous goodness and trying to come up with a way to make one zillion dollars so I can own everything in it. Yep, everything.  For instance:

 It led me to the discovery of Irene Neuwirth jewelry.Which makes me want to cry a little bit.

And also these Norma Kamali cat eyes: 

I've decided, if I were to own them, I'd walk around all day wearing lipstick while whistling and blowing kisses, so I look like this. With a little bit of a double chin though. 

If I had the greenbacks, this chandy by Shine would be up in the dining room (along with lots of other expensive stuff)- whether hubster liked it or not.  

And the interiors. They were good. This zebra-wallpapered bar in the home of one of my favorite bloggers, Jamie Meares of I Suwanee, makes me feel insufficient- everyone should mix cocktails by the light of a perfect pair of pagoda lamps. Right?

And I am now officially on a mission to find the perfect cane chairs, thanks to this image: 

So, what are you waiting for? Go, and see for yourself. I'm all grabby handed and I have to go to bed now. 

Happy Friday!